Strengthen children's self-esteem, to form confident adults
There are many adults who suffer from self-esteem issues, perhaps precisely because their parents were not aware of the proper methods of nurturing it when they were children. From childhood, it's good to worry about one of the biggest dilemmas that plagues many people: self-confidence issues, which if they had been faced from a young age, probably wouldn't have surfaced when they grew up.
"To educate a child is not to make him learn something he did not know, but to make him someone who did not exist before."
-John Ruskin-
As parents, we always try to protect our children from all difficulties, even though we know that it is impossible to protect them from everything. The difficulties they face only increase as they grow. Therefore, providing them with a solid foundation is one of the best efforts a parent can make. One of the basics is related to childhood self-esteem and the means to keep it high.
Encourage the child's self-esteem by acting as an example
Children act, speak and behave towards others based on what they see in their parents. No matter how hard you try to teach them manners and the right way to treat others, your children will never learn unless you are the first to lead by example. If you really want them to learn, be a role model.
In this way, you will be able to consolidate their childhood self-esteem: if you behave as happy and positive people, they themselves will be able to aspire to be like that in the future. Stop for a moment and look at your attitudes: are you people who always complain about everything? Do you deal with difficulties and adversity positively or negatively? These are all elements that children perceive quickly, absorbing everything they see like a sponge.
So if you want to boost their self-esteem as a child, you'll need to take care of yours first. Work at it and be confident so you can become the role model your children deserve. What you appear to be should correspond to who you are.
By doing so, you will also be able to feel much better about yourself and this will reflect in your lessons. Negative people often run the risk of unintentionally "hurting" children, as they constantly focus on their mistakes by scolding them with inappropriate words. Phrases like "you're useless" or "you're stupid" won't make you a great role model.
If you want your children to have strong self-esteem, show them that what matters is not the result. Reward their efforts, encourage them and never tear them down with words that can sow sadness. Put yourself in their shoes: how would you have liked to have been treated by your parents?
Unconditional love is the secret
Do your children have to earn your love? This is wrong. Whatever they do, your children need to know that you will always love them. This way you will prevent them from acting like insecure people in the future and constantly looking for the approval of others to feel good.
Therefore, do not be afraid of their mistakes, their bad grades. Everything serves as a lesson, even you were not perfect when you were a child. Teach them what responsibility is without belittling the efforts they have made. Remember, however, not to overdo it with praise: this tendency can work against them.
To increase the self-esteem of children, parents should devote quality time to them. There is no point in standing by your children without paying attention, thinking only about your own problems or ignoring them. They need to know that you are there for them, they need to know that they can count on you.
A child's self-esteem is solely the responsibility of the parents
Of course, strengthening children's self-esteem cannot but include one fundamental aspect: boundaries, a fundamental concept for toddler learning. Thanks to boundaries, they will learn how far they can push themselves, what their strengths and weaknesses are. Moreover, they will gain greater self-confidence.
Being a parent involves a lot of responsibility, so it is not possible to think only about the here and now. Your child may have a happy childhood, but if you don't act as an example, if you don't educate him about contradictions, if you don't give him all the love he needs, one day the echoes of the upbringing he received will probably resonate. It's an effort worth making, both now and for the future.
Originally published on bota.al