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The four biggest mistakes you can make after being betrayed

The four biggest mistakes you can make after being betrayed

Being betrayed is one of the most painful experiences. It's something that shakes the foundations of trust and security you've built with another person.

The feeling of being betrayed by someone you love has an initial shock that makes judgment difficult.

The first reactions after the betrayal are key moments as they will affect how you will later recover from this story.

So to help you avoid making things worse or doing something you might regret later, certified sex therapist Marty Klein has revealed the biggest mistakes you can make.

Making big decisions

After discovering a shocking truth like this, it's a common reaction to make a snap decision. However, according to Marty at Psychology Today, this is not the best way.

"Nobody should make an important decision when they're really upset," he says. "And yet, every day, people in the agony of infidelity make important decisions. They 'know' they want a divorce. They 'must' tell the children. Or they contact the partner of the one with whom the partner cheated.

Instead, take time to think and sort out your feelings before making any big moves.

Using the Internet to find support

In today's world, we often go online in times of trouble to find others in a similar position. 'Infidelity can be so destabilizing that the betrayed often look for an explanation to help them understand it (as if it were an illness),' explains Marty.

'Websites that seem to find the cause of infidelity with long speeches about "cheaters", "manipulators" and "emotional abusers" are like stale emotional bread for the hungry—not ideal, but apparently better than nothing.

Try not to seek advice from those who are struggling with pain themselves, as this can affect your emotions.

Looking for details

Of course, after the betrayal, you will have questions about your partner. Are you ready to hear this information?

"Betrayed need to know things like this so they can start asking questions, evaluating the relationship and thinking about what they want," he explains. "The betrayed does not need to know which massage parlors, which websites, which music, restaurants and underwear, or exactly how many times and in which positions the betrayal took place."

Black and white thinking

"Once infidelity is discovered, there is a powerful instinct to demonize the betrayer—to decide that they are a 'liar' (an innate quality, rather than a behavior) and to deny any value, from any of their behavior, to well, in the past," Marvin. say.

While people may not believe it, many who cheat love their partner, and those who lie about cheating are often honest in other ways.

According to Marvin, breaking down a relationship in a negative action 'creates terrible and unnecessary suffering for the betrayed'.