I am in quarantine with my husband, but I am dying to see my boyfriend
2020-04-08 10:50:40
TiranaPost
My husband, Alex, and I have been in quarantine for three weeks since the government announced the measures. He doesn't come out the door and so I'm supposed to do too, but I'm out. I went out because I have another house, someone else waiting for me. I have a boyfriend. I'm not bad, don't think anything like that. I don't even have psychological problems. My life is more complicated than that and it became more now with coronavirus.
Alex and I have been married for 20 years and most of the time I have been his caregiver. He fell ill in the first 5 years of our marriage, is chronically ill with an autoimmune disease, and was transformed from a wife into a guardian with zero sexual life.
For almost 10 years our lives revolved around him and his emotional state caused by illness. My desires for the weekends always depended on him, his condition and were in the background.
Now I live with a man in need and selfish. This is what the disease has done. To think that I also have a job as a caregiver in a nursing home. And that's where I met Philip. His mother is one of the ladies of the nursing home and he came to meet her. One day he surprised me with a bouquet of flowers, then we left an innocent meeting and so it all started.
The first sentence I say to my husband every morning is "How are you?", And with Philip it's different. He sees me not as a caregiver, but as a woman. With Alex they also did couple therapy, but the sexual cramp was not resolved. I don't blame him, he's sick, but I'm not guilty either, even though for many years you fought to kill your conscience.
We both had a house with Philip, we furnished it, and I told Alex that I had a few nightclubs added. He thought it would be a good idea to stay home longer during the day. This started four years ago and since then I have two families and live a double life.
Just a month ago I made a truce with myself and said to him: Don’t kill my mind anymore and don’t feel guilty about the double life. But then the coronavirus started and I burst into tears. I knew I would never meet Philip again. However the solution came quickly. I was given three months off work to stay with Alex as his condition worsened if I carried the virus. But I lied. I told him I was going to go to work like everyone else and so I went to Philip.
We spend a few hours together and they go back to Alex. Neither he nor Philip can leave. I don't risk my husband's life because I only meet Phil and no one else.
* Metro Source
