The only choice we have in control
Frymëzuar nga mendimet e Epiktetit dhe filozofia stoike
2026-02-10 10:55:42
TiranaPost
In a world that always seems to be out of our control – where the news changes every hour, where people are in a hurry, where everything demands our attention – an ancient question remains more relevant than ever: What, in fact, depends on us?
The ancient teaching of Epictetus
The Stoic philosopher Epictetus, who lived over two thousand years ago, formulated it with amazing clarity: “The main task of life is to clearly distinguish what depends on you and what does not.” In this simple distinction, which most of us ignore every day, lies the secret of inner peace.
We can't control the weather, the traffic, the politicians, or the way others see us. But we can control our thinking, our reaction, and how we choose to deal with situations.
When a flight is delayed due to weather, anger won't make the plane take off faster. When someone speaks harshly to us, irritation won't change their character. But the clarity that these are beyond our control gives us peace – and the power to act where we really can.
In communities of recovery from alcohol or drug addiction, there is a prayer that summarizes the entire essence of Stoicism in a few lines:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can change,
and the wisdom to distinguish them from each other.”
We cannot change the past – nor the wounds, the mistakes, or the losses. But we can change the present. We can choose our behavior, the words we say, the attitude we hold. And in this small space between the event and the reaction, lies our true freedom.
Stoic philosophy is not coldness towards the world. It is the ability to see reality with clear eyes. Knowing what you cannot change does not mean surrender – it means wisdom.
Because only when we stop struggling with the impossible can we begin to build something real: ourselves, our relationships, our lives. In the end, life is not a race to control the world. It is a journey to learn to control yourself.
Whoever manages to understand the difference between what they can change and what they must accept, has gained the peace that most people seek their entire lives. / bota.al
