Do you remember that "fly-fly" game we used to play as kids, raising our finger after calling out the name of something?
My daughters were playing that a few days ago. It's amazing how these seemingly naive games survive the times and are passed down through generations, but it's also fun to watch them "fight" with each other. I wasn't paying full attention until their voices started to rise.
The event unfolded more or less like this:
When the older sister said that deer fly, the younger sister told her that it wasn't true, because deer don't fly. "Santa's deer flies," her sister replied, hoping to win.
But my 7-year-old daughter's answer really impressed me, so I decided to share it with you.
My little one continued by saying that Santa's reindeer is a character, like Santa himself.
Her sister asked again in a surprised voice, wanting to keep the game going until the end: so who is real, if Santa Claus is a character?
Buna said with full confidence: Really? Mom, it's true!♡
I have told this story to everyone I have met these days. Of course not to brag, it simply seemed to me like the best example to show how important the presence of parents is in children's daily lives. For almost a year, with my work and reading experience, but also with my first-hand experience as a parent of two daughters, I have built this space for communication with you. #simpletruths, as the word itself says, do not aim to make deep explanations, or scientific "discoveries". They are observations and feelings, experiences and thoughts to say what many researchers, psychologists and educators have actually said about this.
I don't want to be repetitive. A year is coming to an end where week after week I modestly try to show that the presence of parents in children's lives is one of the most important factors for their development. The behavior, attitudes and values that we parents display every day directly influence the formation of children's personalities. Our presence is much more important than repeated advice. Am I a good parent? Believe me, I've been working hard on this for 16 years. Do I make mistakes? Every day I try to do less. Of course, there are things that I regret or wish I had done better. But when my daughter said that "mom is real", believe me when I tell you that I was very happy. It seemed to me like a sign that I was on the right track. I am a strong presence for my daughters, I live between dilemmas of how to take care of them, allowing them to make their own experiences and mistakes, how to give them love, without becoming possessive, how to give them the same example as what I speak and write, and how to never forget that they are my children, but they are not me, nor my continuation. It is not easy, nor favored by the times we live in. But I am doing my best to be true. Not only to appreciate good behavior with gifts, like a grandfather, but above all to give an example, attention, love. It may sound naive, (like the game "fly-fly") and repetitive, but we need to be there and true for our children. Everyone in life is looking for attention in one way or another. We parents are lucky to have the opportunity to give it to our children. We must firmly instill this in our heads. In life there is time for everything, but not at the same time. As Michelle Obama says, life is a book that cannot be read all at once, but divided into chapters. And the chapter of parenting, although long and often more tiring than we thought, must be "read" with care and attention. Even with presence.
If there are things to improve in our behavior in the new year, this is undoubtedly the most important. May we be true parents to our children!
