I often have a question that torments me: what exactly happens when we adults "force" children from charming and interesting children to turn into unpleasant models of conformist adults? When do we give in to the reasoning "that's what everyone does" or, even worse, justify it and elevate it to the pedestal of acceptable behavior?
This year, it seems to me that I have understood the moment or ceremony that, by misorganizing and misusing it, we parents, teachers and businessmen together turn into a "gateway to inappropriate and wrong behaviors".
Ladies and Gentlemen: Minimatura!
This experience that symbolizes the closing of a school stage for ninth grade students has become part of the tradition in Albania for years. Originally, it is a simple, modest celebration that aims to summarize the beautiful memories of school childhood and create a dignified moment of separation before the big step towards high school.
European experience proves that young high school graduates can celebrate even with their school uniforms, with games, with beautiful memories and messages for the future, in school settings or in the form of a picnic with teachers and parents, emphasizing friendship, gratitude for education and preparation for the new stage that awaits teenagers. A picnic in nature, a game with water balloons or paintballs, a party with cookies and lemonade, an excursion to the beach... there are 100 ways to celebrate the end of this period of schooling and childhood.
In Albania... ncuq. In many cases, what should have been a party for 15-year-old children has turned into a race towards meaningless growth, in all senses, often excessive and far from its educational purpose.
Girls appear in extravagant clothes, high heels, professional makeup and artificial nails, an image that represents neither their age nor the school path they leave behind. Boys, less stressed about clothing, have to find the money to rent cars or cousins with flashy cars.... Little girls who don't look at all their age, riding in expensive cars, on dusty suburban roads where parties often go on until late at night 🙈🙈🙈
The music heard at these events: songs with banal lyrics, with rhythms that belong more to nightclubs than a student party hall.
During the day, or even in conversations or concerts, 15-year-olds may have "on repeat" Sardin a Alisin, Maneskin or Alban Skënderaj, Mc Kreshë... Korean pop, Taylor Swift or many others like them... at the Mini-Matură party, oh my, if "Cyqeku" wasn't played twice, you can't say it's time to leave.
If you have doubts about these, do some observation on social networks and see what the children and the teachers' parents post together... (France just banned social media accounts for children up to 15 years old by law), or go in and ask for a pair of shoes/sandals for the mini-Matură party... see what heels the store clerks show without a trembling hand...
This tendency to copy adult prom shows a dangerous confusion between the celebration of childhood and the world of adults. Then managed by the teachers' parents themselves, it's simply a sin.
An extraordinary pressure on children, which only harms them, a competition for appearances and expenses, which for many parents are unbearable, and which they still struggle to meet, without thinking about how much they are doing wrong with their children.
The end of the ninth grade, or the compulsory school system in the country, is a moment that should evoke beautiful memories of childhood spent in school and give the message of growing up with maturity, not with makeup.
Let's not blame the children, they are only 15 years old.
It is time for society, schools, and we ourselves, parents, to reflect: what kind of model do we want to give our children in this sensitive phase of life?
Later, it will really be too late.
