When I started writing a two-part article on communicating with children and adolescents about sex, believe me, I did the simplest thing possible. Often, as in this case, it seems to me that what I am writing is so commonplace, or outdated, that society should have already internalized and used this advice in everyday life.
It took me some time to realize that these simple tips are actually like a primer. There's always someone who needs to learn it. It took me some time to observe, read, ask, learn, and realize that there's still a huge need in this regard in our society.
But all this, sorry for the lack of modesty, seems like an average exercise to me. I just think that in 2025 we should be discussing other issues by now. And since it's summer, I decided to do an exercise for the best students😊. You know, like the star exercises that math teachers used to give/give for free time... I don't expect to make a fuss, nor to increase clicks. I'm just doing what I know how to do well, I say, to express clearly what I think. So, in fact, my concern about communicating about sex with children/young people is somewhere else. If the concern that worries many is how to answer children of all ages about "embarrassing questions about sex"... well, my concern is actually that they are no longer asking us, nor are they interested.
They think they know, the ubiquitous access to the internet has led them to believe that, as with any other issue, they already know everything they could possibly need about this. In fact, according to studies in the West today, this has led to fewer and fewer young people being interested in sexual relations. Of course, this has its advantages: risky behavior at a young age, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, abortions among young people, all of these are decreasing.
So what is there to worry about here?
Sorry for the lack of modesty again. A while ago, while discussing this concern with my friends, I happened upon (the algorithm is watching us) an article published in the New York Times, regarding the significant decline in interest in sex among the younger generation.
The conclusions of several studies in recent years, reflected in some of the most prestigious media in the world, show us that while young people, such as the millennial generation and Gen Z, are experiencing a "sexual recession", Generation X (around 50) is not experiencing the same phenomenon.
Sociologists argue that the rampant use of technology, iPhones and social media in particular, has created barriers to intimacy: people go out less, create fewer "strange" situations where sexuality can arise naturally, and consequently have less physical contact that can lead to sex.
What does this mean for young people?
A further symptom of what sociologists have called "sexual recession":
* The use of technology and the return to the screen reduces real social occasions where intimacy can arise.
* Economic, academic, and career constraints are pushing young people to live with their parents or delay entering the realm of romantic relationships.
* Higher use of pornography, less alcohol, and less naturalness in spontaneous encounters also contribute to this trend.
In response to this completely non-physiological reality, contrary to what nature/God has created for human beings, and not only in fact, I want to believe that again we parents or... aunts, uncles... adult friends can do something. Especially since studies give us an advantage as a generation in this field😊
In an environment like ours, where our conversations about sexuality wander between shame and great and meaningless shyness to talk about anything that concerns us, to the public disclosure of completely inappropriate and often harmful details, we need to intervene, once again.
Let's tell young people that all matters of relationships and physical experiences should be intimate. That's where their magic lies. Not everything can be a page for others, with appearance being essential.
Let's explain to them that human relationships are designed to be real, and that a touch or a hug gives a person emotions and experiences that all the likes or comments in the world cannot.
It's good, I think, to talk to young people about the naturalness, about what is so humane and necessary, sexual life between two people.
We need to explain to young girls that in-vitro babies are an extraordinary medical advance, to help couples unable to conceive naturally. They cannot be the first, easiest (!) choice when real relationships in a couple seem like a responsibility we don't want to add to ourselves.
We must all understand together that talking about sex is not gossip that feeds completely unnecessary show biz, nor banality, nor pornography.
We must remind them that we were created to be like this, and no technological evolution should hinder nature, where we are just one of the living beings, not its gods.
It seems like a summer night might inspire the courage for such a conversation, so go for it.
Show young people how beautiful it is to be together, to dance together, to walk hugging, to wake up with each other.
And if you really want to solve every requirement of this exercise with a star, show young people that there is nothing more rewarding, exciting, and even exciting than an intimate conversation with someone you really like.
It takes a little courage, but our generation has always liked adrenaline 😊
