Parenting doesn't need an audience.
2026-02-14 17:05:00
Manjola Lloja Bushati
There are some truths that are so simple that we overlook them. Not because we don't know them, but because we don't find them convenient to accept. One of them is this: our children are not products/content for the public. Each of us can now photograph, film, and share. Especially us parents, especially our children. We do this with pride, with love. We do it because we want to show our happiness, and so far it seems like something completely human. It seems that we do it driven by love, at least in the vast majority of cases. But… there is always a but… there is a thin line between love and exposure. And we often cross it without realizing it.
A child's success becomes a reason for a praising post, a failure for a motivational status, a funny position becomes a post to make us laugh... it seems that every moment of our lives we want to turn into content. Not to mention artistic events at school, birthday parties... many of our actions are conditioned by how they will look, how we will post them. Some friends of mine who have a business organizing children's parties, tell me that few people now look for characters or games with animators for the children to have fun. Most parents (moms especially) require scenography, decor, dress code and flashes... flashes everywhere for photos and videos that need to be posted with a kind of urgency. It seems as if we are not paying attention at all that we are moving intimacy from the home to the screen.
We know all this, but a little repetition, like cold water on the face, I don't think it does us any harm.
The first, clearly simple truth: newborn children or even until they reach a certain age when they become aware, do not choose to be public. Our babies or toddlers have not given us consent to a digital presence that will follow them their entire lives. Social networks are not an album that we leave on the corner of the table and can show you when they grow up. The Internet is a completely open space. What we throw, stays there. Today we can laugh at something and post it to seem cute, but a little later it can become a reason for our child to feel discomfort, shame, or even be attacked by friends or strangers. We as parents have an obligation to protect our child's boundaries, not to expose them for "fun" or in anticipation of virtual reactions. Our ethics as parents in front of our children have been trampled on with both feet here.
Second: what happened to “don’t talk to strangers”? Why did we go from “don’t tell anyone where you live, walk with a lot of people, don’t be alone in unsafe environments” to… let’s publish our school, routine, location, activities? Security is not paranoia. Why are we building a detailed map of their lives online? Data today is capital, the currency with which and for which they work in every online space, so why are we “giving away” so much information? We do it unintentionally, but isn’t it time to understand that it is also a danger? Why leave evil with a “God, far be it from us”?
Third: and this is a little more hidden. We are not rock stars. They have a different agenda, they publish in function of their brand. Every publication has an invoice. What about us? Why are we seeing social networks as a stage and the likes of others as applause? Why are we acting as if our children are products and our lives and theirs together are a spectacle? We are not rock stars who are passionate about the people where we are and what we are doing, for the sake of the pink chronicle that translates into more attention, read profit. By posting personal things, at best we simply incite rumors, rumors that then annoy us ourselves… But they are the lesser evil. Our children grow up with the camera between real life and ourselves, and we all perform. Our lives become material for posting. Achievements or successes are not the motivation to work harder, but content for posts with more likes… and damn, the posts that are more “successful” are not always the ones with the most ideas and value inside. And so we raise children who are taught to live “under the camera lights”, that everything is done for the public… that people are worth the more views they get, and for their sake, even privacy can be completely negotiable. Well, this is our big mistake. It's useless to then tell them in adolescence to take that cell phone out of their hands.. we have paved that path ourselves…
Family is not our brand, nor are children a product for content posts. We are human beings who need space to grow, not for exposure.
Parenting has a strong responsibility that has always accompanied it: knowing how to set clear boundaries. Not only for what children do. Above all, for what we do ourselves. Therefore, perhaps it is better that before every decision to make something related to them public, we ask ourselves: if I were 7 years old, would I want them to tell this about me? Often the answer will be no, I'm afraid. Therefore, the action must also be stopped.
We are not less proud parents if we are discreet. We simply show more respect for our children, who are human beings, beyond ourselves. Parenting does not need an audience. It needs presence. And presence is not measured by followers.
