I was no more than 14 years old when I was given the extraordinary opportunity for the time, to play with the professional troupe of the "Migjeni" Theater. Sharing the stage with personalities of Albanian art such as Tinka Kurti, Bep Shiroka and many others remains unquestionably an experience that has marked my life. But today I want to share with you one of the expressions that really helped in my professional formation and not only.
The director who had also dramatized the novel "Pse" by Sterio Spasse, was Serafin Fanko. Anyone who knows Albanian art, knows well what this name represents. So to a 14-year-old girl like me, shy from the weight of the role and experience, this master gave me some advice that I can more or less paraphrase like this:
"My heart, think of yourself as a tree, pull out all the branches, open all the flowers, try everything your mind and heart tell you that might be necessary to express Aphrodite, (the character I played). Everything that might need embellishment, I remove. I'll tell you what doesn't serve us for the show, because that's why I'm here. But maybe you have something to tell me that hasn't occurred to me, and that way we can both make the role more real."
Then this life lesson was really worth the show. Later, and today, I have turned it into a conversation that I have with every child or young person that my daily life and profession confront me with. Not infrequently, in just one training session or workshop with them, I notice that I have to talk for 1 hour, to convince them, to give them confidence and to encourage them to say what they really think. Sometimes I find myself "overdoing it" with examples, jokes, teasing... because I want to give courage and confidence to the little ones and young people, to express their opinion. The last 30 minutes of our meetings are the ones that I would never want to end. The participants' sentences begin by saying: I think...I feel that...nothing makes me happier than this.
But in fact, I often observe parents and teachers, educators, or simply adults who are doing the opposite. Often with the conviction that they are protecting their children.
"Don't get too tired, ...try to find the simple way, ...you too are like the others...who said this...don't complicate your thinking...have you seen anyone else who does it like you?..." I could go on like this for a long time, with a series of obstacles in the thinking, expression, behavior, actions of our children. An invitation to shrink, suppress, narrow...when in fact they are at the age when they should be doing exactly the opposite.
Sometimes out of fear that they will suffer, or even out of our fears passed on at their age, out of ignorance or lack of attention to deeply know our children, out of excessive care...we are pushing them to "play for a draw". We may be tired, we are looking for comfort, safe things, routine. But they...they do not need any of these "guarantees". They must fight their "match" in all ways, in all forms, with all their strength. We must give them the support, the space and the confidence to flourish in every direction, to face every challenge, to try to win.
We simply need to be careful "gardeners", with the right knowledge, courage and calmness to "prune" the growing branches, so that they receive the right development. And let them grow, as they want, as they know, as they feel.
