"What makes a happy and healthy life?" This is the question that has pursued the longest study of human life for more than 85 years, led by psychiatrist Robert Waldinger at Harvard Medical School.
The study began in 1938 and has followed the lives of hundreds of people from youth to old age. It initially included 724 young men, Harvard students and children from very poor families in Boston, and later expanded to include their wives and children. Today, more than 2,000 people are part of this unique research.
The main conclusion of the study is surprising in its simplicity: good human relationships are the most important factor for long-term happiness and health.
According to Waldinger, most people think that happiness is linked to money, success, or fame. But the study shows the opposite. People who had warm, secure, and supportive relationships lived longer, had better physical health, and maintained better mental function in old age.
He explains that loneliness is one of the most dangerous factors for health, almost as harmful as smoking or obesity. People who feel isolated live in a constant state of stress, with high levels of the hormone cortisol and inflammation in the body, which increases the risk of heart disease, diabetes and neurological problems.
On the other hand, good relationships function as an “emotional regulator.” Even holding someone's hand during a medical procedure reduces stress levels in the body.
The study also highlighted that happiness is not a permanent state. According to Waldinger, no one is happy all the time, and that's completely normal. Life has ups and downs for everyone.
He emphasizes that relationships require constant care, just like physical health. The happiest people were those who consistently invested in friends, family, and community: inviting people over, making phone calls, keeping in touch, and making new connections.
Another important element in his life is Zen practice and meditation. Waldinger, who is also a Zen teacher, believes that awareness and acceptance of the fact that everything is constantly changing helps people suffer less and be more compassionate towards themselves and others.
“There is no such thing as a fully enlightened person,” he says. “There is only enlightened behavior at a given moment.”
According to him, the secret to a good life is not perfection, but constant care for relationships, acceptance of change, and the ability not to face difficulties alone.
“Never worry alone,” is advice he says has changed his life.
