We live by our beliefs. Some of them we know well. A Christian knows that he believes in God. A vegetarian believes that eating animals is wrong. But there are other beliefs that lie deep in our subconscious. They are unspoken assumptions that guide our actions, never written down in an employment contract or legal document. Although we rarely stop to examine them, these beliefs or narratives guide our lives. They are the reason we get up every morning, think the way we think, and pursue the dreams we have.
Here are five ideas we can start to let go of.
"I have to check everything."
You probably don't have any superpowers. So there will always be things that are beyond your control. You can't breathe underwater, become invisible, or turn into a fly to eavesdrop on other people's conversations. You also can't change the past, stop aging, or control what others think of you.
"When I find the love of my life, I will be happy."
One of the most popular ideas of our time, fueled by Disney movies and romantic postcards, is the belief in the "soul mate." Most people understand that there is not just one person destined for each of us. Otherwise, in a world of eight billion people, love would be almost impossible. Yet many people continue to believe that they are only half of a whole and that they need someone else to complete them.
Philosopher Simone de Beauvoir argued that this idea is dangerous. When we see ourselves as incomplete, we create an unhealthy dependence on others for our happiness. Love of the "you complete me" type can quickly turn toxic, because a free and authentic person loses the ability to choose for themselves.
Love requires compromise, companionship, and compassion. But it doesn't mean losing yourself in its name.
"I am who I am and I never change."
The idea that our identity has an unchanging essence is found in religious beliefs about the soul, but took philosophical form with René Descartes. According to him, there is a permanent "ego" that remains the same throughout life.
Eastern philosophies have always offered a different perspective. In Hindu philosophy, universal consciousness is permanent, but the individual ego is only a temporary illusion. It is constantly changing.
"The universe owes me something."
The world owes us nothing. We come into life possessing nothing. Everything we gain, want, or lose is part of the flow of life and its coincidences. The universe is under no obligation to give us what we desire. The feeling that something is ours is often simply pride.
Philosopher Albert Camus, with his theory of the absurd, said that man persistently seeks a greater meaning to life. We want to believe that every suffering has a reason. But, according to him, this life is all we have. If there is a greater cosmic meaning, it is beyond our ability to understand.
Therefore, we must make the best of the life we have. To move forward, face challenges, and find moments of joy along the way.
"When I have more money, a better job, and a bigger house, then I will be happy."
We've all heard that money doesn't buy happiness. Yet, we often continue to believe that happiness is always found in the next thing we don't have yet.
Philosophers, at different times in history, have come to almost the same conclusion: after meeting basic needs, additional wealth does not necessarily bring more happiness.
