Bob Redford / How Much Pain in a Lifetime by OSCAR
Ai pati gjithçka: talent, bukuri, sukses. Por vuajti shumë. Për nënën e humbur kur ishte djalë i ri, për dy fëmijë të cilët I humbi kur ishte gjallë dhe për dy muaj të tmerrshëm në Firence që...
2025-09-28 10:25:45
TiranaPost
Robert Redford died in his sleep, where the righteous rest, at the age of 89, but he had long since died: stars like him, so perfectly Hollywood and yet so foreign to the system, are no longer produced. Perhaps they never were; the only other exception is Paul Newman, who tried hard to get cast in the western Butch Cassidy (producer John Foreman didn't want him because "he wasn't famous enough yet"), opening the doors of glory for him.
Bob Redford received two things in great quantities as a gift: beauty and fame. And he hated two things with great intensity: beauty and fame. Although everything has been said about his career and virtues — the ability to embody the best of America, even though inside he felt "deeply European"; environmental activism, embraced before it became urgent or fashionable; success as an actor and director without surrendering to Hollywood and compromises — there is one aspect that remained in the shadows, perhaps screened by that smile and those thick blond hair, which were an invitation to optimism: Robert is a man who has gone through many tragedies. He had to go through three devastating times and "overcome" a youthful experience in Italy, in Florence, which touched him to the core, changing him radically: "After those months I was never the same," he said in his first interviews.
The first wound is the departure from this world of his beloved mother, Martha, who died of septicemia in May 1955, when Redford was 19. “She was so full of joy and had such a bright smile that I believed she was immortal,” the actor told his biographer Michael Feeney Callan. It is not just a loss. It is an abyss that opens up. Because his mother was “light and knowledge” – she taught him how to drive (when Bob was 8!), how to draw and with her immersed him in role-playing games, which was his first contact with acting – while his father, Charles, was shadow and censorship. Very handsome, but stammering and insecure, Charlie had failed as a musician, and then had a short career in the offices of the Standard Oil oil company. With his son, who was rebellious and had the same artistic inclinations, he was strict. “He criticized me in every field, from sports to drawings; "His way of communicating was silence," Bob said.
A Descent into Hell
Për t’i shpëtuar dhimbjes, në pranverën e 1956-s Redford vendosi të linte studimet e artit në University of Colorado dhe të nisej drejt Europës, me dy destinacione në mendje: Parisin dhe Firencen. Donte të studionte piktorët e tij të parapëlqyer – Utrillo, Modigliani, Gauguin – dhe të kuptonte nëse mund të jetonte me vizatimet e tij, kryesisht portrete dhe skica humoristike. Kapitali fillestar ishte i vogël: 600 dollarë. Gjysma shkoi për udhëtimin me klasin e tretë në transatlantikun United States. I ati, Charles, pranoi t’i dërgonte 100 dollarë në muaj, të cilat «megjithatë», siç ka treguar Jack Brendlinger, shoku me të cilin nisi aventurën europiane, «ai i harxhonte për një javë: pjesën tjetër të kohës jetonte me paratë e mia». Në Paris u regjistrua në École des Beaux-Arts, por gjeti një ambient të ngurtë. Dhe kur policia e rrahu me shkopinj gjatë një proteste kundër shtypjes sovjetike në Hungari, në dhjetor 1956 vendosi të niset drejt Italisë me Jackun.
Në Romë flinte jashtë, në të ftohtë. Sipas një legjende që Redford e ka konfirmuar – «Është e vërtetë. Qesharake, por e vërtetë» – për t’u mbrojtur nga i ftohti dy miqtë mbuloheshin me… pleh stallash (një ide që Bob e kishte marrë nga një rrëfim i Jack Londonit). Në janar 1957 u nda nga Jack dhe shkoi në Firence.
Me kalimin e viteve i ka kujtuar me mall muajt e tij në Itali, por ai pushim-studim qe një zbritje në ferr. «Vendosa të ndahesha nga Brendlinger për një arsye mazokiste: doja të përballesha i vetëm me dhimbjen për humbjen e nënës sime». Në Firence humb 19 kilogramë për pak javë. E konsumojnë frika e dështimit («Do të më duhej të kthehesha në Los Anxhelos, të jetoja me tim atë») dhe kilometrat që bënte çdo ditë në një rutinë “ushtarake” në antikonformizmin e tij. Ngrihej pas mesditës, hante penne a ravioli, rrëkëllente një kafe në stacion, nisej drejt Ponte Vecchio-s me një bllok fletësh të bardha nën sqetull, që shërbente për gjysmë ditar dhe për gjysmë album vizatimesh: «Në faqet e djathta shënoja mendimet; në të majtat hidhja skicat».
Strehohej te familja Barbieri: «Ata nuk flisnin anglisht, prandaj nuk kishte komunikim, tamam si me tim atë. Dhe nuk shiheshim kurrë, sepse unë jetoja natën». Edhe këtu problemi kryesor ishte i ftohti. «Pija duhan 20 orë në ditë», i ka rrëfyer Callan-it, «i thyeja më dysh cigaret Alfa dhe i “thithja” derisa më digjnin gishtat: isha i bindur se nëse e mbushja dhomën me tym do të isha ngrohtë».
Kolapsi nervor do të vinte në fund të shkurtit: rrinte për ditë të tëra duke fiksuar sytë te fytyra e vet në pasqyrën sipër lavamanit — donte të çmontonte “si Picasso” tiparet e veta dhe njëkohësisht «të kuptoja kush isha vërtet» — dhe një natë, befas, «nuk e njoha më veten, pata halucinacione, ndjeva një entitet të papërshkrueshëm nën lëkurën time. Nuk kam qenë më i njëjti person pas asaj nate».
Fortunately, Tony Reeves, his mentor at art school, understood Bob Redford's difficulties and organized an exhibition of his drawings. Bob collected 200 thousand lire and took the train to Munich, where Brendlinger was waiting for him. On March 14, 1957, he returned to the United States. Shortly after, he met his first wife, Lola Van Wagenen, who saved him from the Florentine demons. He married in 1958 and enrolled in the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. The rest is history, even legend. Although, before the trumps, the most terrible tragedy came.
“A DISASTER OF MY OWN”
Lola became pregnant almost immediately. On September 1, 1959, Scott Anthony Redford was born. Robert would recall: "I was euphoric with joy." Two and a half months later, on November 17, little Scott died in his sleep. Bob's reaction, who was already playing on Broadway, was the usual one: to move, to escape. For three days, he and Lola moved between Maryland and Pennsylvania. The actor rarely spoke about that drama and called it "a wound that never completely disappeared," but he admitted to his biographer that in addition to "a pain that is difficult to put into words," he also felt an immense sense of guilt: "I had rejected common sense to pursue a dangerous life. My father told me I was irresponsible. Lola's parents told me I was irresponsible. So I felt that Scott's death was a catastrophe entirely of my own making." The couple, who separated in 1985, had three more children: Shauna, James and Amy.
Of the three, James was the one who followed his father's footsteps the most. The same features, the same smile, he became a brilliant documentary director. He died in 2020, after two liver transplants and a relentless illness. Another blow for Redford. Who was clear about what really mattered in life. For People magazine, in fact, he said: «Yes, I've made interesting films and I've enjoyed my work, but if someone were to pack everything up and ask me: “What is your greatest success?”, I would have no doubt. I would answer: “My children. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me”».
Originally published on bota.al
